Spotlight Friday: feelings

At the moment the life in  this household is an emotional roller coaster. There is hubby who is in the midst of changing work places. Happy about leaving the one, anxious about what awaits him in the other. So many mixed feelings about leaving. So many emotions bundled up and no way to find their way out to find relieve. Hubby was never big in expressing his feelings, his emotions, his fears. It is like pulling teeth with him, to find out what is occupying his mind and at what stage of the process he is.

feelings

Then we have teenager that is so full of emotions that she doesn’t know which ones to channel first, lashes out at her little sister or us, because she is frustrated with a situation or confusing feelings.  Then the next minute she is like a snail and retreats into her room and will not be seen for a while, and wants to be left alone.

Then there is our little one, a very sensitive little soul. That takes everything  to heart. This School year we had quite a few stay at home days because of emotional anxiety. Like her Dad she doesn’t like talking about her own feelings and fears. She does express them through writing and drawing.  Often  it is frustrating for me to see that something is occupying her mind and she doesn’t want to share, to get it off her chest. But she let’s you know that something is off, I just feel it is not the right way and it doesn’t help her find a solution. She just “deals” with it by tucking it away.

feelings

I know everyone deals with their emotions differently. I am one of those people that have to get it off my chest immediately. Might not be the right way either, because then often things are said out of frustration and anger. Hearing myself talking about what is weighing on my heart often reveals the solution. Thankfully I have a wonderful friend next door, that let’s me spill my sorrow and worries without telling me what I need to do.  That is exactly what I need. That is what I learned many years ago in my Psychology class, let someone talk and find their own solution. Don’t tell them what they need to do.

This is what I have been trying to do with my kids. What is not very easy, because as a Mom you want them to make the “best” decisions, or you think is the best one. You want them to get over their hurt faster. But they have to take that path and learn how to get to that place where they can be comfortable to make the choice that fits for them.

Just the other day I apologized to my oldest for trying to be pushy and telling her how she should decide. I told her that I had to learn to let go and trust in her that she will make the right choices. That I understand that it’s her first time growing up and that she doesn’t know how to get there and that there will be steps taken in the “wrong” direction. So I asked her if she could be patient with me while I learn how to “let her go” and grow up. This is a first time for me as well.

As you can see there is a lot of emotional stuff going on right now and sometimes it is overwhelming and draining. At the same time I love those moments because it brings us closer together. We get to know each other deeper. It forms a whole new family bond.

I am sure we are not always handling it the “right” way, but we are trying and that is just as important.But because everyone handles their stress differently, there is a different approach for them, that just makes it so much more emotional for me. I like to know that everyone in this house is happy, balanced and feels safe.   Because I think it is equal important to be emotionally well as well as your body. One can’t function without the other.

My own problem is that I like to get to the bottom of things, often get a little bit to philosophical for my family. I often drive my hubby crazy with that. But that’s just the way I am “made”.

 

 


Item Title by Shop Name on Zibbet

Silver Plated Charm Bracelet, Feel Good Bangle by SAjolie


Item Title by Shop Name on Zibbet

A Feeling Lucky Autumn Leaf Dance by Threecats


Item Title by Shop Name on Zibbet

I can feel your smile 5 x 5″ fine art photography print – stencil graffiti by shashamane


Item Title by Shop Name on Zibbet

Picture oil on a canvas Kaleidoscope of feelings by yourcolor


Item Title by Shop Name on Zibbet

Unique Inspirational Card of Encouragement: Directional Feelings by ShabooPrints


Item Title by Shop Name on Zibbet

Owl Playmat – children feeling expression animal quilt travel toy by ConchyGemDolls


Item Title by Shop Name on Zibbet

Music Sentiments Framed Print
by texaseagle


Item Title by Shop Name on Zibbet

Full Moon 8×10 Fine Art Photography – Custom Quotes
by ThoreauFair


Item Title by Shop Name on Zibbet

Bracelet For Women Taino Inspired ” Magu’ey” (Sun in Taino) ” Live And Feel ” Reversible Genuine Rare Coral , Blue Swarovski Crystal by shopname

while I was putting this Zibbet treasury together this song popped in my head. I loved this song from the first time I saw it in the movie Flashdance.

Music is a big part of how I express and work through me feelings.

Here is the Etsy Treasury that I created:

in-my-feelings

 

 

 

 

The other music that came to mind was a song from R. Kelly “I believe I can fly”

 

I hope that was not too much emotions and feelings going on for you.

But as my oldest tells my lately “I am in my feelings” so that means for me to leave her alone.

I wish you a wonderful  meaningful  day!sig

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8 thoughts on “Spotlight Friday: feelings

  1. blnl

    Wonderful post and as you said it’s her first time growing up but your first time parenting a teen! Teens are trying!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Such an excellent blog on emotions, Frauke.

    So many people don’t know how to deal with the negative ones. I come from a long line of loners. Funny thing is that all of us in my family with that DNA component are exceedingly happy. And here is our secret. Momentum.

    As an artist I have times when I crash. I’ve usually let myself become overwhelmed, overstimulated, underhydrated. To get out of the hole, I do something totally different. I vacumm, I clean, I walk in the garden, I get the blood moving. I can only think of one thing at a time — live one moment at a time, Being happy is the result of filling each moment with positive activity.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Susan. It sure isn’t easy to navigate through the negative ones it is also hard for some to show that they are happy.
      When I was still single I used to cope with my negative emotions by baking a marble cake.

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  3. Sounds like life is quite normal in your household, Frauke :>) Each day is a new challenge that each of us must find our way through… try to make sense of what is best for each of us… put one foot in front of the other knowing you’ve done your very best. Yep! life unfolds just as it should no matter how we try to bend or twist it into a likely direction… life for each of us will find it’s own way :>) My way may not be your way, nor will yours necessarily be mine. This was very thought provoking and thoroughly enjoyable.
    Faye

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    1. thank you Faye, and exactly my direction I am trying to go with my kids. To let them find their own way, not to put my wishes in their head. They need to find their path and their happiness. My task is to help them find their coping mechanism, without tainting it with mine. And accepting theirs.

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  4. Frauke, Great blog & I love the Music Sentiments Framed Print. We are in a stressful time here at our house also. My husband lost his job Mar. 31 & is looking for a new one. Hard to find jobs now, so many out of work. He is not dealing well with it. I hope your husband can work through his feelings & is vey happy at his new job. When we have children we seem to deal with feelings forever, even when they grow up. Good luck with all & thanks for this great blog!!

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    1. I am sorry to hear Nancy that your husband has lost his job. I can imagine how stressful it must be in your house at the moment. We lived through that only 5 years ago and still have not recovered from it. But we found our way. I will be sending positive thoughts your way and hope he will find something very quick. And as our kids go, I guess we are in it for the long haul. Never ending feelings roller coaster. Hugs and all the best to you and your family!

      Like

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